My favorite Pay-Per-View is almost here and this year, it's going to be extra long with two epic Royal Rumble matches. I'm making these predictions Tuesday night after Smackdown so I'm sure some new matches will be thrown in to fill out at least a Pre-Show but I'll predict what has been announced so far. So let's have some fun with predictions so I can just owe Cameron Portillo's again already.
Raw Tag Team Championship: Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan vs. Cesaro & Sheamus
I think Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan, despite their rocky alliance will retain. The angle is working pretty well for Jordan and I can't imagine they'd re-introduce Rollins curb stomp finisher in the lead up to this not to have him use it to pull out the win here with Balor Club potentially waiting in the wings as the next challengers.
Smackdown Tag Team Championship: The Usos vs. Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin
The Usos have been solid champs and their matches with New Day were some of my favorite of 2017 but I think they'll lose to Gable and Benjamin here in order to set up a storyline about trying to win the belts back on the road to Wrestlemania.
WWE Championship: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
I just can't figure out how WWE creative would try to make "Co-Champions" work so I'm giving this to AJ Styles.
Universal Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman
Brock Lesnar pins Kane so Strowman can at least be a little protected here (even though they already screwed him at No Mercy).
Women's Royal Rumble
For the Royal Rumble matches, I'm going to throw in three predictions: the Winner, the Iron Man/Woman (who lasts the longest), and Most Eliminations. Because why not try and make it extra complicated. We're already working at a disadvantage by not knowing all the competitors.
Iron Woman: Sasha Banks. I think we'll see the Legit Boss start pretty early on (maybe even #1 or #2) and hold her own until late in the match. As an alternative, it'd be great to see Bayley have a strong showing too.
Most Eliminations: Asuka. I think they'll use eliminations to continue projecting her dominance in the Women's Division even if she doesn't ultimately win.
Winner: The much-rumored Ronda Rousey. I don't think they should give it to another MMA invader in a potential debut match. But it's also the WWE who had James Ellsworth win the first ever goddamn Women's Money in the Bank match so at least letting a woman win the first Women's Royal Rumble would be a step in the right direction. I can even see her eliminating Asuka to start the momentum and guarantee boos before the eventual Wrestlemania showdown between her and Charlotte (horsewoman vs. horsewoman).
Men's Royal Rumble
Iron Man: Finn Balor. I don't think they'll give him the win (much as I would like it) but I think he'll get a good showing (perhaps with the support of the Balor Club).
Most Eliminations: Randy Orton. I think he'll come in late in the match and clear house with some RKOs and throw a handful of people over the top rope. It won't be any kind of record-breaking number but enough to have a good showing for last year's winner.
Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura. To set up the Styles/Nakamura bout they teased at Wrestlemania. If Vince was fine having Jinder Mahal at the top of the card for most of 2017, I think they'll be fine with this matchup as Wrestlemania's other main event.